Sunday, November 11, 2012

Review: Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide To Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling

Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide To Getting Girls by Tellulah Darling
Published: October 17, 2012
Publisher: Te Da Media
Pages: 244
Received: from author for honest review
Buy Now: Amazon

Why the hell can’t chicks be more like guys?

That question plagues high school senior Sam Cruz. Sam is perfectly happy being a player. He just wishes girls wouldn’t change the game from sex to relationships. It makes him look like an asshole. But when Sam’s best friend, Ally Klinger, gets dumped, she begs him to transform her into someone who can screw around then screw off. No risk of heartbreak that way. It’s Sam’s chance to create the perfect female AND cheer up his best friend. Armed with Sam’s Three Step Guide to Backseat Success, Ally gets the game better than Sam thought she would and before long, Sam has his wish: the female version of himself. Too bad it’s driving him nuts. Told from Sam’s and Ally's alternating POVs, Sam Cruz’s Infallible Guide to Getting Girls is a fast-paced romantic comedy that follows these teens as they navigate the minefield of sex, love, and friendship.

This book contains strong language, drinking, euphemisms, and lots of “bow chicka wow wow.”
For some reason I thought this book was geared towards YA when I saw the book trailer, but now I realize it really is geared towards older teens and adults. There is a lot of "bow chicka wow wow" going on and might be a little much for a teen audience. 
First off Sam has rules to dating - six of them to be exact:
1) Stay cool. Never let girls see you jonsing. Especially if you want to get them back to your place.
2) Never take them back to your place. Ditching them will be harder by a billion and make you look like an asshole. good times, happy parting.
3) "Friends with benefits" is the greatest phrase ever invented by a guy. Enough said.
4) Never refuse sex when it's on the table. Life's too short. There is no such thing as "I have a headache" for guys.
5) Desperation is ugly man. Girls like cool moves, not filing restraining orders.
6) Never get caught up in that love crap It will just wreck everything. Trust me.
Now Sam and Ally are BFF's. Ally gets dumped and thinks that becoming a female version of her player friend might solve all of her problems. Sam agrees to school her in the ways of dating. Emotions run high, bed hopping ensues, and many hilarious moments ignite.

I absolutely loved that Ally was this geeky girl and had such a fun male BFF (even if he was a player with the ladies). Their friendship is one that seems so comfortable and easy, until all hell breaks loose. Ally changes everything about herself: her looks, her style, her attitude towards guys - she hides her brains behind lacy bras and ditzy laughter. Sam might have created a monster. 

I enjoyed the alternating POVs of Ally and Sam. It really let you get inside their heads throughout the story and I think it is part of what made this story work so well. 

Honestly, the concept of this book isn't really anything new, but the way the book was written, the quirky, fun characters and charming supporting characters are what truly make this book stand out. The banter between Ally and Sam is hilarious and will have you laughing out loud. You'll also want to jump into this book to see what kinds of situations Ally finds herself in and whether Sam can be anything but a player by nature. 

Definitely a book for older teens or adults looking for a chuckle. 

Fave Quotes:
“One penis to rule them all, one penis to find them, one penis to bring them all and in the darkness bind them." (Ally making fun of Sam a la The Lord of The Rings)

"Sam’s a dog, and like all good pet owners dealing with that embarrassing leg-humping issue, I just spray him down from time to time and love him anyway." (Ally)

There were so many more, but for some reason I didn't bookmark nearly as many as I thought I had. You'll just have to take my word for it. 

About the Author:
Tellulah Darling

1. YA Novelist
2. Alter ego of professional screenwriter and instructor
3. Sassy minx

Geeks out over: cool tech.
Squees for: great storytelling.
Delights in: fabulous conversation.
Writes about: where love meets comedy, flavored with pop culture. Awkwardness ensues.


  1. I've seen this one around a little bit from it being on Netgalley. It never really appealed to me that much, but the fact that I've been reading a lot of heavier books lately makes me want to read something like this one soon. I could use something funny and light!

    1. It was a quick fun read. Hope you enjoy it when you pick it up. :)


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